Rain cloud.

I am growing weary of feeling the way I feel Right Now. For some reason, for which I have no explanation nor cause, I feel exhausted. period. I am dropping asleep as I type this, been feeling looow, sickly, fatigued, sad, annoyed with myself, sad, down in the dumps, sadder. Unbelieveable. humm…..I feel like a lone thorn  in the desert with a huge rain cloud which has been looming just above me. My own customized rain cloud.

Darn! I hate feeling this way, so sad and gloomy. I loong for sleep, and not to get up. I have no idea, absoutely no idea what is wrong, coz there seems like nothing wrong.

i dont need answers, I just need ppl to  leave me alone.

Post Twilight zone…and other rambles..

Yessss! I am done reading New Moon the triquel to Twilight, with one more book to finish in the series, and I dont YESSSSS! with any sorta pride, more so the emancipation I am beginning to feel from the dark, deep, moody moods I have been in since I watched Twilight two weeks ago. Dang! I am just wondering if the books have a spell like quality. Coz the very first hour since I finished reading it, I began “feeling better”, happier (sorta), less tired. Hummmm….must be sheer psychology, and I do have a tendency to “feel” books. Whatever.

For those who havent started Twilight, get a move on will ya! Including you Dedaz and Radiance.

On another note, I did open up a private blog yest, and sent out hint to my bestest blog mate Zaded, but before she could look at my Facebook wall post twice, the blog vanished. Sowwwwie Zaded!

I dont know why I am blogging nonsense today….but thats just me feeling like it so bear up or get lost

till next time, say cheese!

I love you too Edward…

Ok Ok. I resign. I resign to this seemingly increasing yearning for the existance of an Edward Cullen in my life. Wow! I am just wondering, if I should order a custom made Edward from Stepanie Meyer herself, as she is the creater of this Man. Or should I not be saying that?

For those idiots who have no clue who Edward Cullen is…..WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? HIBERNATING?? ok. Control, control. After all, if Edward could have so much self control then I should be able to try. There is this part of me, the critique, the ‘intelligent’ part, that wants to do a full on critical review of Twilight and New Moon, the concept and Meyer’s writing. But the part of me, who is yearning for the existance of an Edward Cullen in my life,  has knocked the other side out cold. So I will babble on….

The logic? Edward is too unreal to be a Man, you dont get men like him, men like him are not men, therefore they are vampires. haha. Never ever knew the concept of vampires would one day intrigue me so much. Ofcourse with so many women loving Edward, no wonder Bella has latched on to him and claimed him for eternity. *sigh* …all the good men are taken….whats new.

Its not Robert Pattison that I am attracted to, Robert does not look so good in real life as he does in the movie. Its this ‘concept’ and ‘character’ called Edward Cullen. Its this type of attachment, the possibility of the existence and depth of such love, the possibility of the existance of such a man who can cause and fuel such love.

Its unreal, I have no right to hope for such a thing. Its impossible. Such love is just NOT possible.  Such a man just dosen’t exist. And especially NOT for me. *sigggggggggggggggggggghhhhhh*.

But still……..there is that tiny tiny tiny tinnnnnnnnnnnnnnny flame of hope…..in the deepest chamber of my blood red heart……..